A Brief Happy Birthday To Me
Could Never Tell You What Happened The Day I Turned 17 (I Mean 27)
I did my birthday shopping! I got two pairs of jeans from Everlane, a Ralph Lauren military style coat, a pair of suede Frye and Co. ankle boots, and a (vegan) leather mini-skirt from Madewell.
“I’m sorry you’re offended/hurt” is the single worst apology you could ever give someone.
My favorite Lana del Rey song is “Every Man Gets His Wish,” which is an unreleased song from like 2009 and I came across it in the summer of 2014, and it’s probably one of my most listened to songs of all time along with “Howl” by Florence + the Machine and probably “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift since I’m nothing if not #basic.
I believe identity can and often does incur additional material challenges, but I don’t think identity itself defines or even influences an individual’s moral standing, one way or another.
If and when I become a Twitter blue check (give me until the end of the calendar year lmao), I’m guessing that people are going to end up finding out the ~scary details about my past that I’ve shared (and deleted) online over the years and I’ve decided that my only response to someone bringing that stuff up will be to go, “That’s none of your business” and not even engage or provide an explanation.
I don’t actually think it’s a core feminist practice for us as marginalized individuals to share the worst things that happened to us in order to bring about social change. It’s not my personal responsibility to prostrate myself for the greater good! Sharing my trauma won’t convince those in power to consider my humanity, and in fact, my overt weakness might invigorate them, which is a power I don’t want to give them. Moreover, my history could also very well impact my career prospects and affect how prominent figures in my field regard me. That’s not a sacrifice I should have to make, but that’s a sacrifice I will have to make, and I’m not willing to make it, at least not anytime soon.
Semi-relatedly, the Anne Carson quote “I am someone who did not die when I should have died” lives rent free in my head because like, so true bestie.
Anyways, it’s my birthday today (10/16) so shoot me a text/email/Facebook message if you care to, and I’ll reply when I’m done angsting. Here’s a family portrait of my parents and I with Jude, the best dog ever.
