A Quick List
I’m really leaning into the Virginia Woolf vibe a la “A Room of One’s Own” like look at my #adorable living room! My apartment is just 505 square feet but it’s all my own, and I’m accountable to nobody except myself. I cook and clean and fold my laundry, I Peloton and work on my couch and clean my hair off the bathroom floor because I shed like Jude (the Golden Retriever), and it’s mundane but it’s also my own mundane, and I cherish it.
Anyways, over the last week, I’ve been inhaling Jacob Clifton’s reviews of Gossip Girl, which I first read about a decade ago,and I’ve decided that he’s the only man who’s allowed to write about women anymore because every other man lost the privilege to do so thanks to the existence of Eminem’s “Shake That” (“Pop a little champagne and a couple E's/Slip it in her bubbly” like ew).
Whenever men put things in their dating app bios like "looking for a fit woman," I immediately swipe left because "fit" on dating apps is code for thin, and while I am reasonably fit thanks to ye olde Peloton, the idea of dating a guy for whom my thinness is of utmost importance to the extent it's on their bio will never work! I'm not going to look like this forever, and I want a guy who's going to like me even after I'm no longer conventionally attractive. Plus like, it's never the genuinely hot guys that do this, it's always the guys that are a 6 on a good day, so not much of a loss anyways.
I don’t particularly value communities, like I love my friends and parents and boyfriends but I genuinely don’t care what everybody else thinks of me let alone about their well-being (unless they pay my salary, in which case I have to care). I grew up not being accountable to anybody, the only child of extremely busy parents, and was so lonely that I convinced myself I liked being alone, and that’s a hard upbringing to outgrow. I struggle with feeling bad for others when I don’t already care for them as people even if I understand they objectively suffered, and sometimes I fear that makes me inhuman.
Nobody can fix the world in its entirety, which is why we would all do good to fix our own little parts of it, by stretching and learning to love stories that aren’t our own.
I listened to Lorde’s Solar Power this weekend and I didn’t like it but I think people are overreacting to how “bad” it is like just say it wasn’t your cup of tea and get over it. Lorde will be fine no matter whether you love or hate her new album, and I respect that she took a step back and declared that she wasn’t anybody’s savior, and I’m saying this as someone who obsessively listened to Melodrama when it first came out.
Just because you finally spit out the truth doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences for doing so.
I have an extremely strict moral code in that my conception of right and wrong is very much set in stone at this point in my life. If someone does something I consider morally reprehensible, whether or not I was personally wronged, my regard for them is gone for life, even if they suffered more than than ought to for what they did.
Lastly, my #beloved Anita (who I originally became friends with because her math camp counselor was my erstwhile love interest of 12 years who doesn’t believe in shoes) is not wrong here!!
