When I (27F) Was Born (0F)

1. This was me when I was 8 years old when I first read Kafka’s Metamorphosis in an effort to quell my fear of insects (it failed of course) and that’s why I write so much.

   

2. My alternating between “Samson” by Regina Spektor and the Celtic Woman version of “Danny Boy” is extremely based, and quite telling about where my mind is at right now. The thing about “Samson” is that first of all, I AM a young millennial of the suitable age for that song to make me go extremely feral, and perhaps more significantly, that song will always remind me of my first love™ who I originally fell for when his hair was long and my hair was (dip-dyed) red and I cut his hair in the yellow light (or whatever).

3. If you're wondering what kind of person I am, the character on Mad Men that I most relate to is Don Draper (although I dress like a Betty slash Joan obviously).

4. Speaking of that particular hairdo, I went through all 5,344 pictures on my iCloud (since 2013!!!) because I wanted to find pictures of my dip-dyed hair (that I cut off 3 days after doing it in the co-ed bathroom of Mary Donlon Hall to Kings of Leon’s “Pyro” like I’ve recounted many times before) and I couldn’t find all of them but I did get these pictures from that era featuring my friend’s hair handiwork or should I say … hairdiwork.

   

5. I hate it when people underestimate my intelligence by lying to me like I’ll always find out the truth (since I’m a genius™) and it’d save us both the effort of lying and pulling of teeth if they were just honest in the first place!!

6. I don’t hold grudges towards individuals but I do hold an unceasing and endless rage inside me towards the world at large.

7. I got REALLY into NCAA March Madness this year like I had Duke winning it the whole championship with Villanova in the finals but alas, the Final 4 knocked me all out thanks to Kansas and UNC barely triumphing up but I got to 1130 points total and next year, I’m absolutely submitting to the ESPN official bracket since I know I could kill it. Like…

   

8. Every time someone misuses the phrase “toxic masculinity,” I become more toxically feminine.

9. I have a theory that there are 4 kinds of people on the Internet.

   1. People who are extremely nice online and care what people think about them.

   2. People who are extremely mean online and don’t care about what people think about them.

   3. People who are extremely mean online and DO care what people think about them.

   4. People who are extremely nice online and really don’t care what people think about them.

   I’m #4, which is probably why I drive some of my #beloved readers insane and inspire them to send me hate about how I’m wide and square-shaped lol. The thing is, I’m generally very polite online, but I genuinely don’t really care what people think about me apart from my parents, friends, and colleagues, so it’s really hard to phase me although doxxing my home address and sending my ex-boyfriend nudes will freak me out so refrain from doing that.

10. For a 10th grade Honors English class project, I dressed up as George Sand and gave a speech about women’s liberation and the importance of women being the authors of their own narratives. Things change, people grow, but deep down, the girl I used to be will always be within me, and that’s powerful (or something).

11. Lastly, here’s a picture of Jude and Dhaaruni the day I found out my Final 4 March Madness bracket was perfect!!! And of course, Jude did not care.